Kerry Dougherty, columnist for The Virginian-Pilot, isn’t quite ready for Halloween to start appearing in retail stores. At least wait until after Labor Day, please!
Well, that was scary.
There I was, in an Oceanfront supermarket, when I rounded the greeting card aisle and gasped.
An employee was on her knees, stacking the shelves with – are you ready for this? – neon orange cards.
Yep, jack-o’-lanterns. Ghosts. Witches.
Look, in this time of deep political differences, I think I’ve stumbled upon the one thing that can bring all of us – Democrats, Republicans, young, old, women or men – together.
We can agree that no one should be selling – or buying – Halloween cards in August.
Frankly, they shouldn’t be purchased in October, either. Halloween is a holiday that cries out for candy and costumes, not greeting cards. But I’ll save a rant about how this silly holiday was hijacked by adults with arrested development for another time.
Today we’re going to talk about the retail world’s insane attempts to rush the seasons.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said to the hapless clerk, who was carefully inserting “Happy Halloween Across the Miles” wishes on the shelf. “It’s way too early for this.”
“I know,” she sighed. “It’s my job; what can I say?”